Bottoming is one thing; the stigma that comes with bottoming is another thing. I remember vividly a blog post I read where a bottom was recounting his experiences a bottom. At a certain point, he complained of how tops belittled bottoms and made them feel like less of a man. He talked about a certain experience he had in a party where he and another guy were the only bottoms in a room full of tops. While the tops got along so well, the other guy who was a bottom refused to initiate a conversation with him. In fact the other bottom looked at him in a condescended manner as if he was a competitor to him having all the dicks that night.

The tops there that were getting along so well would go on to crack jokes about the bottoms they had been with. They would say how loose this bottom was and how shitty this bottoms ass was. They would complain about how this bottom couldn’t give head and how they had to act like they were enjoying the head just to motivate him. They would complain how this bottom could not ride a dick or couldn’t take dick. All the whole time they were there, they were shaming bottoms as if they were the only ones that mattered in the gay community.

Now, tops would say they have the dick but what would a dick be if it wasn’t entering a bottom. Don’t forget too that bottoms have a dick and we all know that masturbation too can create a sexual ecstasy. Tops would not understand the pain and stress bottoms go through in making sure that they are sexy, neat and ready to receive dick. Most tops have a very long dick but do not know how to use it. It’s not just about having a long dick, it’s about bringing someone pleasure by the long phallus. The truth is that the longer a dick is, the harder it is to take. So as a top with a 9 inch phallus, don’t just pride yourself that you have a long dick you must know how to bring a bottom intense pleasure from your dick and not just pain and cream!!!! If you don’t know this then you shouldn’t stand up when good tops stand up. You are a bad top simply as fuck.

Bottoming shouldn’t be about how masculine or how feminine a guy is or about how long or short the bottoms dick is. Bottoming should be on the premise that you love a dick and you have trained yourself on how to take one.  It shouldn’t be imposed on you. It shouldn’t be based on how fat or how slim you are or how big or little your butt is. It is a personal decision and not everyone was built to bottom. I’ve seen fat tops, tops with small dicks and even effeminate tops. In fact 80% of tops I have been with are effeminate and I the bottom, I’m not effeminate. Until we stop looking down on bottoms, we wouldn’t understand their value to the gay world. Peace!!!

No fems, no fats: The new word on grindr

Every time I go through grindr, the profiles always have the letters “No fems, no fats” and it hurts me because the gay world has become a small community where looks have become a priority. I was talking to a friend the other day, a friend I have known for a very long while. We were discussing aloud about how gay in homophobic countries are very particular about “No fems”.  My friend, a West-African was recounting to me bitterly all the terrible experiences he went through in his country simply because he was feminine.

“West-Africa is a very bad place to be gay and feminine. But what these gay tops or verse gay tops fail to understand is that we bottom didn’t choose to be feminine. So I met this guy on grindr, someone I had come to admire. He lived far away from where I lived and so hooking up was not very easy and we decided to keep up the good conversation. We didn’t stop having sex but then we decided to have an online relationship and still enjoy our selves real life till we had any reason to get together. However, the friendship would heighten and we would fall in love. And so one day while I was on holiday, he asked me to come over to his house. I was kind of scared because many guys had rejected me in the past because I was feminine and I wasn’t so sure if he was going to like me. I mean I had a very big ass and was so good in bed but these assholes simply based their expectations on first impression. One even went to the extent of telling me that if he wanted a girl he knew where to find one that he was meant to be dating a boy not a boy-girl or effeminate.

Fast forward to the present. I took a bus headed to his location and would get to meet him the day later. When I arrived, I call;ed him that I was there and that he  should come to pick me as I was standing under the scorching heat. I waited for another three hours when I got a text he sent saying he didn’t like fems and that if he knew I was fem, he could have blocked me on grindr and whats app a long time ago. So I had to take another bus back to my home immediately.  That experience has not left me”

This is actually the state of affairs in most homophobic parts of the world. Because they don’ want to be caught they wouldn’t want to walk with an effeminate man or fat man.  Some who are more hypocritical would accept to fuck you hard and really enjoy the sex indoors but outside, they don’t know you.While some might claim it is a mere matter of preference, I see these as hypocrisy and discrimination because being gay should be more than no fem,no fats. What’s your say?